Is a rejection the worst thing in the world for you? No, and I’m going to illustrate why. Better yet, I’m going to let Jia Jiang, from his book Rejection Proof, illustrate why. If you’re not familiar with this book, I wrote about it a few weeks ago: https://workedgetexas.com/how-to-conquer-rejection/ In it, Jia writes that we are all wired to avoid rejection. That’s normal. But if you let that instinct take over, it can hold you back from some pretty amazing things. You can actually get better at handling rejection—and even make it fun.
Jiang started posting videos of himself getting rejected, and they became so popular that people began suggesting new challenges for him. One idea was to ask someone if he could plant a flower in their yard. So, Jia bought a peach-colored “Double-Delight” rosebush and drove around Austin looking for someone to ask. He finally came upon a residence that fit the bill, parked his car, approached, and knocked on the door. An older man answered, and his body language wasn’t very welcoming. Jia explained that he wanted to plant the rosebush in the yard for free. The homeowner gave a glimpse of a smile and said, “OK, that’s more interesting than I thought. Thank you, but no.” As the man started to close the door, Jia quickly asked, “No problem. But may I ask why?”
The resident explained, “I don’t like flowers in my yard. My dog would dig them up and destroy them. I appreciate you doing this, but you got the wrong guy.”
Then he looked at the rosebush. “I like you giving out these flowers. If you go across the street and ask Lauren, she might want it. She loves flowers.”
The story ends with Jiang crossing the street and asking Lauren for permission. She was agreeable to the proposition. After he planted it, she enthusiastically endorsed his action, stating that she had a special place in her heart for peach roses.
None of this would have happened if Jia hadn’t asked the first man why he said no. By asking that simple question, he learned two important things.
- The homeowner who rejected him had not done so because he didn’t trust Jia or thought Jia was weird. The man actually appreciated the offer; it simply “didn’t fit his situation.”
- The homeowner gave Jia “a lead to another person who he knew might be more open to [his] gift.”
By asking why, Jean received an explanation and a referral. Although he was rejected, he found a path that ultimately turned into a yes.
Jiang’s takeaway? Everyone has their reasons—sometimes it’s logic, sometimes it’s emotion, sometimes it’s just a gut feeling in the moment. If you can figure out the why behind a rejection, you’ll feel better about it, and you might even get better at influencing people. Here’s the practical bit: not much bad happens to people who ask why after a rejection. So go ahead, put yourself out there, and when you get a no (because it will happen), ask why. You might be pleased with where it takes you.
Mark
Dr. Mark Edge
The WorkEdge Company
Telephone: 903-245-7851
Email: workedgetexas@gmail.com
Website: www.workedgetexas.com
Author of Holy Chaos How To Walk with God in a Frenzied World
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=mark+edge&crid=3B1BM6W3LHOG0&sprefix=%2Caps%2C137&ref=nb_sb_ss_recent_2_0_recent
Source: Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible through 100 Days of Rejection by Jia Jiang, pages, 93-97.
WorkEdge leverages Grammarly as a resource. While this material was not written or generated by AI, some editing was informed by Grammarly.