Who doesn’t love the word “yes”? It’s upbeat, it’s positive, and let’s not forget—Yes was also the name of a legendary 80s band. Lately, I’ve written on the subject of rejection*, but what about the other side of the coin? What’s a good strategy for persuading people to say yes?
Vanessa Bohns tackled this very question in a recent Wall Street Journal article. Turns out, research shows people are way more likely to say yes than we think—as long as we know how to ask. So, what is the secret? She offered four recommendations.
1. Ask directly because there is a difference between asking directly and hinting. An example she offers is one coworker saying to another, “You know, Steve, right? I’d really like to connect with him.”
Chances are the other person will respond along the lines of, “Steve’s really a nice guy.”
Beautiful response. But it’s not a yes. The hint didn’t land. Instead, a better question would be more straightforward: “You know Steve, right? Would you be willing to connect me with him?”
Now there is no doubt.
2. Ask in person if you can. If that’s not possible, skip the email or text and pick up the phone.
Bohns conducted a study with business professor Mahdi Roghanizad and found something you’d never expect: you’re 34 times more likely to say “yes” in person than over email. While a phone call beats an email and text, it is not as good as face-to-face. Why? Because so much of our communication isn’t just words—it’s tone, body language, and all those little signals you pick up in person. Even on the phone, your voice can smooth things over in a way emails or texts just can’t.
3. Go in expecting a yes. When you ask for something, assume the answer will be positive.
There’s something irresistible about positive confidence—it gives off good vibes. In fact,
“People are about twice as likely to say yes” as we expect.
4. Observe the other person’s autonomy. Make clear the choice is theirs.
After you ask, give them space—say they can take a day to think it over. This conveys respect for their autonomy and often leads to a much more enthusiastic yes.
Mark
Dr. Mark Edge
The WorkEdge Company
Telephone: 903-245-7851
Email: workedgetexas@gmail.com
Website: www.workedgetexas.com
Author of Holy Chaos How To Walk with God in a Frenzied World
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=mark+edge&crid=3B1BM6W3LHOG0&sprefix=%2Caps%2C137&ref=nb_sb_ss_recent_2_0_recent
For further reading, see Vanessa Bohns, “The Secret to Getting Colleagues to Say ‘Yes’ When You Ask for Something, Wall Street Journal, October 17, 2026: https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/how-to-ask-colleagues-agree-requests-72231479?mod=Searchresults&pos=1&page=1
WorkEdge leverages Grammarly as a resource. While this material was not written or generated by AI, some editing was informed by Grammarly.