In the 1930s, S. W. Fears and his family lived in a boarding house near downtown Tyler. During this time, when S. W. was around five or six years old, he enjoyed dangling his legs off the front porch and watching the trains pass by on the nearby railroad tracks.
One day, S. W. saw a train approaching and headed out of Tyler. As the train passed, he noticed a man inside a boxcar waving at him. He excitedly waved back, unaware that the man was actually his father. It wasn’t until the boxcar had passed that he realized the shocking truth: his father was leaving for good, abandoning him and his mother. This event would change S. W.’s life forever, as he would be raised by his mother and beloved aunt.
As you might imagine, this event would affect S. W. for the rest of his life. Good would come from this, or bad. S. W. chose the good. Over time, he came to realize that if he was to live a productive life, he had to get rid of the hate and anger that his father’s abandonment had created within him. And so, S. W. made a conscious decision—if he ever had children, he would be the best father any child could have. He was determined to break the cycle of abandonment. He would break the chain.
S. W. resolved to be nothing like his dad. He aimed to be a loyal and devoted companion to his wife. He took the last name his father had given him and committed to changing its legacy. His goal was to live his life so that he could bestow upon his children and grandchildren a name they would be proud to receive. It would be a name deserving respect.
S. W. passed away fifteen years ago, and I attended his funeral, where his family honored him as he deserved. I personally know S. W.’s son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren, and they have succeeded in life as compassionate and accomplished individuals.
“Fears” is a word that generally has a negative connotation. In Tyler and other places where family members live, “Fears” is a word of honor.
You have heard it before and will hear it again: it’s not what happens to you that counts; it is what you do with what happens to you that matters.
- Forgive and release the hatred.
- Turn your hurt into hope.
- Like a martial artist, reverse the negative thrust of abandonment and redirect it into a positive force for good.
- Break the chain.* …
Mark
Dr. Mark Edge
The WorkEdge Company
Telephone: 903-245-7851
Email: workedgetexas@gmail.com
Website: www.workedgetexas.com
Mark Edge is the Author of Holy Chaos How To Walk with God in a Frenzied World
*Thanks, Grammarly, for your editorial insights, and thank you Perplexity for your AI generated image
Thought provoking read, Mark. Thank you.